https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/201112/sportsparenting-red-flags-over-invested-sports-parents “Sports/Parenting: Red Flags for Over-Invested Sports Parents”
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-power-prime/201112/sportsparenting-red-flags-over-invested-sports-parents “Sports/Parenting: Red Flags for Over-Invested Sports Parents”
I have written several times about Jeremy Lin arranging a video chat with my Asian American daughter both at the height of Linsanity and at the depth of my daughter's ethnic harassment and bullying at the hands of her middle school basketball teammates while the school administrators turned a blind eye to my and my family's numerous complaints about the essentially all-white school's failure to apply its Tltle VI policy to address even one single act, among the scores of humiliating acts our family directly reported to school personnel, beginning with a 7th grade basketball coach, an 8th grade teacher, and moving up through the school board and district superintendent.
After a NYC civil rights group, the Asian American Legal Defense and Education Fund (AALDEF) intervened on my daughter's behalf (evidencing the extent of how egregious the acts suffered by my daughter actually were–because of the resources involved in representing a single girl in rural eastern Kentucky from the NPO's office in NYC), the group also soon learned that the school administrators continued to act with the same deliberate indifference toward the civil rights group, as they had toward my daughter and my family, and that, incredually, the school district had hidden the fact that it had NO actual Title VI policy at all, and thus no mechanism to address my daugter's civil rights violations in any way. Eventually, AALDEF filed administrative complaints with both the U.S. Departments of Justice and Education–who eventually addressed my daughter's complaints through execution of a Resolution Agreement with the offending school district. During the two-year period my daughter attended the offending school district's middle school, the entire school district did not employ a single minority (including not only teachers, but cafeteria workers, bus drivers or volunteer coaches). If the reader is interested in reading a more detailed description of my daughter's mistreatment, please see the article by WDRB's Eric Crawford, “Kentucky Girl Claims Racial Harassment from Basketball Teammates.”
After moving my daughter to a new school system far away from the offending school district, she is now thriving in every possible way and has not been the subject of a single ethnic slur during her 2+ years at her new school, excelling academically and athletically and being recruited for both her academic and basketball achievements by D-1 basketball schools, including Vanderbilt, Xavier, Ivy League institutions and universities throughout the country.
I mention my daughter's background to show the type of character Jeremy Lin possesses. His 45+ minute video chat with my then 13-year old daughter, which Jeremy arranged between NBA practices, resulting from his mother telling him about my daughter's mistreatment — which she learned of in the Asian American media. Jeremy and my daughter talked about their shared experiences of being the subject of frequent ethnic slurs (chink, gook, etc.) from mean-spirited teammates, classmates, and others, many of whom claimed they were only teasing (as if the harasser's stated intent is relevant in any way), being told frequently that “Asians can't play basketball,” and the myth of the model minority–in which Asian American students are presumed by some American teachers and school personnel to be innately advanced in math and science (and if they are not, they are labeled lazy) and the ridiculous, but persistent, stereotype that Asian Americans are “more suited” for individual “sports” (such as tennis, cross-country and chess) rather than team sports like basketball and football. He also told her to always take the high road and never descend to the level of those who have hurt her and that he knew her to be incredibly brave because she had the courage to stand up against her harassers and the adults within the school Disrict charged with protecting her. He also told her he was sure most of her tormentors would be unable to cope with issues unique to Asian Americans and to stay the course, regardless of how someone tries to label you. [Actually, Jeremy's advice to my teenage daughter could be instructive to adults, as well as teenagers.]
At the conclusion of their video chat, Jeremy left my daughter with his agent's cell phone number and told her several times that she could get in touch with him anytime she needed to talk about anything. Fortunately, his reassuring talk lifted the self-esteem of my daughter before she moved to her new school and, in the nick of time, renewed her interest in basketball and academic achievement and, most importantly, her trust in her new fellow students.
It is not in the least surprising to me that Jeremy Lin has decided to speak out on the deleterious issues faced by Asian Americans–issues to which other ethnic groups are largely immune.
This isn't to say that other ethnic and racial groups in America do not face daunting issues, perhaps even more so than Asian Americans. I am a Human Rights Commissioner, and, of course know that there are other critically important racial and religious intolerance policies and issues outside the Asian American community which have spurred organizations to “fight the American political system” (whatever that may mean, if anything, in today's modern world). #BlackLivesMatter, of course they do, and while I have a great number of friends who practice the Islamic faith, my Muslim friends are kind and gentle people who are horrified by the atrocities committed by Islamic extremists.
This blog post, though, is written as a tribute to Jeremy Lin, who not only helped my daughter come to terms with who she is a human being and who has the potential to succeed in life (a difficult concept for a middle school girl to grasp), but also as a thank you note to Jeremy because he was willing to take a risk to his professional career in order to begin a public discussion about the other side of the back-handed compliment of the so-called “model minority” stereotype–the side, not of conforming, curve-busting students, but of the incredible academic pressures bearing, sometimes, intolerably down on Asian American students and consequent suicides where “every homework assignment, every project, every test [for an Asian American student] could be the difference . . . The difference between success and failure. The difference between happiness and misery.” The quotation cited above comes from an on-line piece from CHRON, a media outlet in Houston, and is entitled, “Former Rockets guard Jeremy Lin opens up about academic pressures and suicides” and is important reading to anyone associated with or part of the Asian American community. [Matt Young, December 16, 2015]
It really should come as no surprise that Jeremy Lin is once again standing up for marginalized groups of Americans on the video (“Jeremy Lin's Advice on Bullying“) posted to the U.S. Department of Education's YouTube channel a couple of months ago as part of the White House Asian American Pacific Islander Initiative, Anti-Bullying Campaign.
The point of this post is simply to thank a kind and compassionate young man, who just happens to play in the NBA, for restoring my daughter's self-esteem through a call he generated–simply because he cared, cared for one single Asian American teenager facing a part of his past in an isolated community in Kentucky–and, in doing so, unlocked so many potential opportunities for the remainder of her life. I knew it would only be a matter of time before he spoke, not just to my daughter about the unique challenges of simply being an Asian America in the USA, but to a much wider audience who respect him, his humor and his display of personal courage to succeed where so many have failed.
Thank you, Jeremy, for your act of kindness toward my daughter and your desire to reach out to all Asian Americans facing unique pressures largely unknown outside the Asian American community.
I have written several posts about the unaddressed bullying of my Asian American daughter (who excels academically and athletically) at her former school. After some brief research, I soon learned that my daughter’s mistreatment was not unusual for Asian American students attending American public schools. In response to this bullying epidemic and other issues facing the Asian American community, President Obama established the AAPI Initiative to seek redress for these issues.(See http://www.whitehouse.gov/aapi.
The article linked below contains numerous resources of assistance to one seeking information on bullying of Asian students.
When I made complaints to coaches and administrators at my daughter’s former school system about the stream of racial slurs made to my daughter (“chink”, “slant eyes”, “nigger lover”, and ” Commie”, to name a few), none of my complaints were taken seriously and no investigations initiated as required by Federal law. My wife did receive a call, though, after one of my complaints, from an assistant basketball coach and wife of the athletic director, questioning my sanity and “instructing” my wife that,”There is no racism going on at this school system.” And to make sure my wife received the message, the coach/AD’s wife asked a rhetorical question, “You understand what I am saying don’t you?”
It wasn’t until the Asian American Legal Defense and a Education Fund (AALDF), an outstanding civil rights group out of New York City, became involved (and their complaints were ignored for weeks until the Kentucky Department of Education (KDE) was contacted and KDE specifically directed the school’s superintendent to conduct an immediate investigation into my and AALDEF’s complaints). Many weeks passed before the school district even made contact with AALDEF, and to this day continues to delay or block any attempt at resolving the issues, though investigations are ongoing with the U.S. Department of Education and Kentucky Commission on Human Rights.
It did not take long after the school board hired an attorney to begin a smear tactic against my daughter and me, which in a small town got back to me fairly quickly-comments such as: I was only trying to line my pockets with the school district’s limited budget because I am an attorney and that’s what attorneys do. I was going to sue all of the parents individually for the slurs “allegedly made by their children”. I wanted to destroy the name of the school district. Blah. Blah Blah. [In truth, I DID NOT FILE THE COMPLAINTS with the Department of Education and Department of Justice. AALDEF filed in their own name on behalf of my daughter after their many attempts to enter into negotiations with the school district were ignored or not taken seriously. Additionally, I was captain of my football team there, still use my number76 in my Twitter handle (terryclarke76) and gmail email address (email@example.com) and my late father and two of my close cousins are in the high school’s Hall of Fame. In short, I had no interest in destroying the school’s reputation. In fact, as incredible as it appears, those associated with the school have openly questioned my motives that I was concerned with improving the climate of cultural tolerance in the schools within the school district though I am on my city’s Commission on Human Rights, and consciously made the choice not to sue the school for money damages.]
The site linked below is a story a television station (WDRB) in Louisville filmed and posted in an article on its website. The sports reporter, Eric Crawford (who has an outstanding reputation as a national basketball reporter) came with a camera man and interviewed my daughter and me for hours after driving 3 hours to my home in the extreme Northeastern part of Kentucky where it touches Ohio and West Virginia. We only consented to two more interviews, one with an Asian American reporter I have always admired, who was the former host of NPR’s All Things Considered, and Mellisa Issacson of ESPN who wanted to seek my daughter’s opinion on bullying in the locker room of girls sports teams as the Richie Incognito–Jonathan Martin saga was unfolding. We turned down countless other interview requests because neither my daughter nor I wanted to bring attention to ourselves. A link to Ms. Issacson’s story on ESPNW story is also included below the link to WDRB’s Eric Crawford’s story.
This is the same school system which was placed on probation for openly cheating during the State’s regional Governor’s Cup competition. This is the same system whose supporters claimed that this school district was too “culturely sophisticated” for their students to ever utter a racial slur, not a single one, though my daughter was the only minority on her basketball team and it was her teammates who admitted they hated my daughter. Bear in mind the link at the beginning of this post was from an Asian American living in Kentucky’a second largest city (Lexington) and much more culturely diverse than my daughter’s former essentially all-white school located in the Appalachian area of the State (the hillbilly part). Despite the school district’s representatives claims that all of its schools “embraced diversity”, this school system has the reputation in the area as one of arrogance and intolerance. When the state’s ruling body on academic competitions issued a lifetime ban to the high school’s academic team coach from ever coaching in, or even attending, academic contests, the media asked the school’s principal if the cheater would be fired. The principal’s response, “Heck no. He made ONE mistake and they Pete Rose’d him.”
So . . . Does anyone actually find the Appalacian school district’s position credible that racial slurs against Asian American DO NOT OCCUR at their rural school when those slurs occur daily in the halls of the schools in the State’s urban areas?
I have a very keen interest in the state of affairs of the post Soviet countries, as described below, but I recently came across a very good article in The Guardian that lists the current state of affairs of the 15 post-Soviet countries, and am providing the link below.
My daughter was adopted from Kazakhstan nearly 14 years ago–not that long after the Soviet Union collapsed, relatively speaking. Because I have tried very hard to keep my daughter connected to her motherland (with whom she holds a dual citizenship), I have befriended many hundreds of Kazakhs on Facebook, LinkedIn and through Skype and simply word of mouth. My daughter Milena (Tulegenova) Clarke is from the Middle Horde (Orta Zhuhz) and the Naiman tribe (ru) and she and I have visited Kazakhs throughout the USA during my business trips over the years and spoken with many over Skype or Goggle’s Hangouts. Accordingly, I know much better how Kazakhstan has faired (extremely well, despite the crude, inaccurate portral in Boraдt) than the other former Soviet countries since the collapse of the USSR.
I am constantly amazed by the Kazakhs’ closeness to and concern for one another, even including their great concern for my daughter, who has not yet returned to her mother country (though I plan to take her “home” for an extended holiday for her 16th birthday next year). I continuously receive articles and music related to Kazakhstan to show Milena, though at her age, they oftentimes send information directly to her. Milena continues to list Almaty, Kazakhstan as her hometown at every opportunity and tries diligently to celebrate her Kazakh culture as much as she does her American culture (whatever that is).
When the national media reported on the Asian American Legal Defense and Education Fund (AALDEF) filing of complaints with the U.S. Department of Justice and U.S. Department of Education against Milena’s former school system for their deliberate indifference in allowing her to be harassed and the subject of discrimination (and accompanying retaliation) based on her ethnicity, national origin and race, well over a thousand Kazakhs came to her defense on Facebook, creating a page dedicated to Milena and offering her support in both English and Russian. Most of our Kazakh friends know that I have raised Milena to be bilingual (English, out of necessity, and Russian, her first language–though she is determined to learn Kazakh, which, though it currently uses the same Cyrillic alphabet as Russian, is a Turkic, not a Slavonic language).
I have had more contact with Central Asians because of the similarty of their cultures with Kazakhstan, maintaining friendships with people of Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, and Uzbekistan. Also, because my daughter and I practice the Russian Orthodox faith, we have a greater understanding of the non-secular issues of Russia.
If anyone has any information they would like to share on any of the 15 post-Soviet states, please be sure to add your thoughts, ideas or information in the comments section.
Kathy Groob got into a Twitter war arguing that Elaine Chao, the former labor secretary and wife of Republican US Senator Mitch McConnell, can’t possibly be from Kentucky, “because she’s Asian.”
That drew a firestorm on Twitter from folks who didn’t see the relationship between being from Kentucky and being Asian. One of Ms Groob’s many Anti-Kentucky and Anti-Asian American racist tweets (all of which she later deleted from her account), appears below.
In order to present an accurate portayal, I am including links to articles posted on a Kentucky television station (WHAS), an extremely conservative blog (fireandreamitchell.com) and an Asian American blog (AsAm News) to let you determine the appropriateness of Ms. Groob’s comments regarding Asian Americans and Kentucky (1) Kentucky has no Asians, and (2) Ms. Goob continues to openly express the widely held belief, despite her very liberal views, that Asian Americans, regardless of how many generations their ancestors have been American citizens “are really never fully American.”
I realize, of course, that politics often descend into the absurd and that Ms. Goob made her racist attacks because she disapproves of U.S. Senator Mitch McConnel (R, KY) (who is married to Asian American Elaine Chao–a citizen of both Kentucky and the United States) and I realize she did make an “apology” (though her “apology” was perhaps the weakest and least effective apology in modern political history). Ms. Goob’s comments, however, fall outside any sense of human decency, and continue to depict Asian Americans, depite their legal citizenship, as forever foreign and unwanted in their country of citizenship. Make no mistake, there is no doubt, whatsover, that Ms. Goob was well aware of Ms. Chao’s citizenship (in both Kentucky and the U.S.). If she is as involved in politics and feminism on the national scene as she claims, she would certainly know that Elaine Chao was the first Asian American women to be appointed to a U.S. President’s cabinet in American history, serving as the United States Secretary of Labor from 2001 to 2009. If Ms. Chao did not possess Asian features, I can only assume she would have been thumping her chest that a female served as Secretary of Labor (a Cabinet level position) for two full terms under a Republican President–but how could she celebrate a woman in such a high level position because thw woman “did not look like an American citizen, but looked instead like a massage parlor worker whom the poor, ignorant hillbillies populating Kentucky (including me, though I have an LL.M. degree from George Washington University and even have an “Asian” daughter) would surely not allow to live in their state. I guess I should receive my notice any day to report to an interment camp with my daughter).
Since Ms. Goob has announced to the world through social media that Ms. Chao can’t possibly live in Kentucky because of her Asian features, I guess, based on her logic, my 15 year-old Asian American daughter isn’t from Kentucky either since she was adopted from the Central Asian Republic of Kazakhstan and has lived with and been a part of our Kentucky family since she was 18 months old. The good liberal, Ms. Groob, has helped perpetuate the myth that Americans with Asian features are somehow strange and different and will never be accepted as true Americans in the United States. Perhaps her point of view (which many claim is wholely within the domain of Conservative politics, though Ms. Groob has proven otherwise) is the reason that Asian teens are the most bullied racial group in the U.S. and also have the highest suicide rate.
I care very deeply about this subject of Asians being viewed and treated differently because the issue directly affects my ethnic Kaazakh daughter (both an Asian and Kentucky citizen, though in Ms. Groob’s world the two categories cannot co-exist). I also care because my Asian Kentucky citizen daughter was bullied (racially harassed and retaliated against) at her previous school based on her ethnicity, national origin, race and religion) while the school system at every level displayed an incredible deliberate indifference with regard to my many comlaints of her mistreatment. When people like Ms. Kroob spew their hatred on a national stage, there is a trickle down effect reminding all of white America that American citizens with Asian features are “not really” Americans and there is no need to allow them the same courtesy and conditions to which white people feel priviliged.